one day more
by cute-nico
Summary: Maura is gone or so said. Jane is left to live the nightmare every day for a year . will some thing change ? . will Maura s case come out of cold storage ? i don t own anything
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

She is still sitting on her couch. Watching the door. hopping that one day ….

One day she`ll hear someone knocking. One day she`ll open the door and find her standing there and telling her how terrible see looks, she`ll tell her that she is making everyone late and that she is indeed "her business".

Her mother tried talking to her, convincing with her to except the fact that whatever she is waiting for will never happen. "Maura is not coming back sweetie. I know that she was your best friend and that you miss her, we all do. We can't change what happened and you need to know that this was not your fault."

"She IS my best friend ma! And don't you dare say it wasn't my fault, because it was!" Jane couldn't help but look at the floor with shame. Feeling the sting in her eyes "if it wasn't for me …" choking on her own words she couldn't stop an angry tear escaping her eye.

Holding her child Anglia said "you know that's not right and you know that Maura gave her life away so you can have yours. Do you think that this is the life she wished for you? Jane it's been a year , you're not doing anything with your life BUT work . Even there, you only talk when you have to. You stopped going out with your friends. You don't even go near the dirty roper anymore. And it's no better when your home! You just stare at that damn door!"

"She shouldn't have done that. It's my life and it was NOT her call to say which one of us gets to live. "Jane wiped away her tear with anger.

Sniffing, her mother stroke her hair and said "she wanted you to come back to me. To all of us, but she didn't know that by doing so she will always keep apart of us with her no matter where she is. She was a brave women and a loving friend, she wanted for you to carry on her behalf. You need to honor her wish and don't let her sacrifice go to waste"

"But I wanted her to be her with me. I wanted us both to come back home and make jokes about it .I wanted to see her laughing again, and... And correcting my grammar mistakes, I wanted … so many things" Jane body shook with sobs

"I know sweetie, I know" Anglia said tried holding her tears but failed. It took Jane an hour to finally her sobs stopped and fell asleep on her mother's lap


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"I need you to promise me something" .Jane stopped for a moment then continued wiping the blood away off Maura's back.

"Anything, but you can't be thinking like this Muar. We will get out of here." Maura winced as Jane tried cleaning the wounds as best as she could. "A whip. Who the hell uses them anymore? Where does he think we are the eighteen century?" mumbled Jane. _Why Maura? Why not me? We have been here for three days and they didn't even look at me, even threatening didn't make them blink my way. And what the hell do they do with Maura for hours? I doubt that beating with WHIPS takes that time. She won't even talk about it every time they would drag her half counties at the end of each day. _

Maura sighed staring at nothing and said "when you get out, I need you to tell my parents that I love them…."

"Stop it Maura. You can tell them yourself; beside I never heard anyone died from being whipped. If you're lucky it will leave a scar and we could open our scar club together 'no other members allowed' what do you think?" Jane chuckled but Maura didn't even blink, they both knew the scars will never go away.

"Tell Angela that she was a great mom to me. Take care of bass and for gad sake stop calling him a turtle when you know he is tortoise." They both started chuckling softly. Suddenly the door swung open and a man entered. Maura pushed herself off the ground and with a strong voice she said "so, do we have a deal or not?" the man gritted his teeth, took a deep breath and said with a grin

"Of course we do " Jane starred with confusion between Maura and the man _what deal? What are they talking about?_ Maura looked at Jane and gave her sweeties smile when two more men came in and started dragging Jane away

"Goodbye Jane".

"No. nonono. Maura what did you do? No let me go. Stop it" Jane straggled with tears streaming down her face. "Maura! Maura !"

"Mauraaa!" Jane jolted up screaming, looking around she recognized her living room. Beads of sweat all over her body, breathing heavily she curled herself into a ball and cried remembering Maura's last smile. The next morning, she looked into her closet 'now I understand why you always look like this. You have nothing to wear'. Maura's voice echoed in her head. After getting dressed she decided that going to the café could help break the routine she fell into a year ago. Her mother tried looking less excited for Jane's sake but failed. Jane didn't care she looked at the menu "I'm going to make you eat something green today" a ghost of a smile at the corner of her mouth and ourderd salad " you always know how to bring the best of me" she mumbeld to her self . She coght a glimse of korsak as her approached. "Buzz of".

"Well it's good to see you too Jane. It's been awhile since I've seen you here." He sat on the chair opposite to her. A few minutes past before anyone talked. "Jane you have to let it go, you did everything…"

"What if we missed some thing? What if she is still alive" Jane cut him off. She was tired of people telling her it's not her fault.

"You know that can't be, you were there. You saw how much blood there was. There is no way…"

"HER BODY WAS NEVER FOUND! We don't know what the deal was except the part including me. What did he want in return for letting me go? maybe…" it was korsak`s turn to cut her off

"Stop-just stop. Why can't you accept the facts? Her own parents did so why can't you?"

"Because she is my friend!" she shouted.

Korsak sighed, he knew better than to continue arguing with her right now and said "I'll see you upstairs".


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

She walked slowly looking at the dried pools of blood beneath her. _Her blood_ .She knew that no one could possibly survive after losing this amount of blood unless…. Unless he was given repeated Blood transfusion. No they didn't want her to die yet they needed her to suffer. _'You`d do the same for one of your brothers' 'maybe, but they have to be really, really nice. I'd definety do it for you though'_. "I'm sorry, but I can never be that person anymore" she kneeled down and left a single red rose on the floor, turns around and left.

"Hey guys what happened to Maura's case file?" said Jane looking bit confused.

"Its down with the cold case files, why?" said frost.

"Because I've just came up from there and I couldn't find it".

"Well maybe you just missed it" he never toke his eyes off of his computer. Jane started getting agitated; she pulled his chair away from the computer.

"It`s not there. Now what the hell happened to it?"

"And how should I know? Just pull it from the computer and print it again".

"FINE". Jane went back to her desk. She typed the case number. She had known it by heart. "What the…" Jane stared at the screen, typed the number again only to get the same result.

"Frost try finding Maura's case"

"Why?"

"Just do it"

After a few clicks on his keyboard "what the …?"

They both looked at the screen telling them that there was no such case file found in the data base. Frost tried finding all cases from last year and started looking for Maura's with no luck. He tried all the missing persons report. "Nothing" frost sat back in his chair in surrender "everything is gone, as if it was never there .whoever did this knows his job he didn't leave any trace."

"Try the Surveillance tapes from the cold files storage"

"Deleted".

"Faaaauck" Jane kicked her disc, throw everything on it, grabbed her jacket and left.

"Where is she going?" asked Korsak.

"Where do you think?" korsak nodded, sighed and went back to his work.

Jane stayed at the car awhile after she reached her destination. She got out of the car and started walking to the building. This was a habit that she grows into; every time something happened at work she would come here and remember her friend. With each step she could feel the lump growing in her throat. Flashbacks hitting her like a punch in the guts when she got in that room_. "Promise me something"._ She looked at the blood until she saw it. The red rose left in the middle of the ground. Jane started looking sideways although she knew that no one would be there. She picked it up and stared at it. She carried it with her and put it in the passenger seat. One more stop ahead, baby Maura Doyle's grave. She didn't know why but she kept finding herself there lost in her thoughts staring at the grave stone. A few hours past before she realized she needs to go back to work and try finding something that wasn't there.

As she got up she caught a Glance of a small figure leaning on an oak tree. The figure was wearing hoody, jeans and was facing her. in the figure`s hand was a single "red rose" Jane mumbled.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The figure must have noticed that she was looking towered him, because he throw the rose and started leaving. "HEY, HEY" said Jane and started walking toward the figure that was running now and soon so was she. "STOP, WAIT!" she was next him now and tackled him to the ground. she took the hoodie off ,it was just a teenager .

"I didn't do anything I swear" he was terrified of Jane.

"WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN HERE?" Jane was pulling him from his collar with both fists.

"I was waiting for you to leave" he said as he was covering his face scared he would get punched.

"WHY?"

"I don't know man; all I know is that this chick gave me a hundred dollar to put a rose on a stupid grave. I swear, I work for a floweret in town ".

"What grave?"

He took out a piece of paper and said "um. Maura Doyle".

"So why didn't you?" he went quit until she raised her fist

"she said that there may be a dark haired woman there and that I should wait until she was gone …. and … that she mustn't see me".

"What did this chick look like" Jane was getting desperate now. "Get up, get up" Jane was still grabbing his jacket. "What did she look like?" she toke a breath trying to calm her self.

"Who?" the kid said flatly.

"This chick gad damns it!"

"Like a chick, I don't know …. Blonde, brown eyes"

"how old?"

"Thirties I think". There are a lot of blondes with brown eyes but only one came in Jane's mind, she took her cell phone and showed him a photo.

"Is this her?"

"Could be, maybe I don't know man." Jane got furies now she Tighten her grip on him

"DON'T MESS WITH ME, CUS I WILL MESS YOU UP" she saidbetween gritted teeth. "Look again!"

"Okay, yes that's her" he nodded swallowing hard.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, yeah I remember now" he nodded with scared eyes.

"Give me the hounded dollar bell she gave you". He hesitated at first, "I'll give you another just give it to me".

When she got to her car again she stared at her phone with Maura's photo staring back at her. He could be lying. Well there is one way to make sure Jane mumbled as she turned on her car and headed toward the merge. She hated going down there, but she has no choice. The new M.E was old and rouged, anything is still better than pike. "Well detective Rizzoli what do I owe this visit?"

" ummmm, can you get some fingerprint off of this?" she showed him the bell.

"You`re kidding right?" he said with a sarcastic smile. Jane face went hard, shifted from one leg to another and said

"when did I ever Kidd round you?"

"Do you have any idea how many people may have handled this bell?" she put the bell down

"well I'm only interested with any match to our employee data base".

"And what is this all about?"

Jane turned around and left while saying "non of your busies".

Jane went back to her desk and tried to focus on her paper work, but her mind kept going back to what the boy said. "She said that there may be a dark haired woman there and that I should wait until she was gone ….and … that she mustn't see me". He said that it was Maura, but …. No it can't be, Maura wouldn't let her suffer like this could she? Why didn't she try to contact me? , why didnt she came home? She needs to stop this, she needs to focus. Her phone rang; she rubbed her eyes and looked at the screen merge. "What?"

"I have the resulted that you wanted."

"And?" Jane was nervous.

"There was a match; I belonged to the formal M.E: isles." Jane was on the moon right now

"OK thank you. Thank you very much" she had the widest grin on her face. There was still some hop, even though she also knew that this mean that Maura never tried contacting her that didn't bother her. The important thing was that she was alive. At the end of the day, she had hop in her and as she walked to her car she didn't noticed the two men until one of them called her name. "Yes, can I help you?" a sudden pain in her stomach that knocked the air out of her. She fell to the ground holding her stomach. One of them lifted her and punched her in the face

"curtsy of paddy Doyle". The other man took out a burn phone and throws it to her "stay in touch Rizzoli" and with that they both left. It didn't take much time until the phone ring. "Stop what you're doing detective" a cold voice said on the other end.

"What the hell Doyle? I`m not even on a case".

"I wasn't talking about 'any' case, I meant Maura's case. Trust me detective, you won't like what you will find if you keep going with this".

"What are you going to do? Kill me?"

"No I wouldn't kill."

"Oh, really? Why not? You didn't seem to Have any problem with killing before" Jane said sarcastically.

"I still don`t, but it`s what Maura wants"

**Author`s note: **

**Did you really think I was going to make it that easy? "Evil laugh". Don't worry thing will start to get clear the next chapter.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Jane froze at the last sentence. "you…you`ve known she`s alive?"

"She is my daughter detective, of course I did" said Doyle quietly.

"You saw her didn`t you? Where is she? Why didn't she come back?" Jane was confused.

"Like I said before detective, you won't like what you find if you keep going with this. she`s a Doyle and she will always be"

"like hell she is, I want to see her" Jane was angry now _what did he mean she`s a Doyle. Maura is nothing like him and she hates that he is her father. _

"That's not an option. I`ve warned you detective" with that the line went dead.

"Fuck" _now what? I know that she is alive and I know that Doyle knew all along. No one can track down Doyle; I don't have another lead to Maura. It would take a miracle to find her. _Jane slammed her fist into her care "damn it!" _Maura... where are you? _A light bulb turned on in Jane's head and called Korsak. He has a lot of informants at the docks he could find out if something new came up with Doyle recently. "Hey Korsak, listen I need a favor to ask you".

"Shoot"

"can you find out if Doyle had any recent actives? If he rented a place, an apartment, a house. Anything".

"Ok I'll call you when I find anything".

"thanks" Jane went Maura`s house. The isles just left it there constant said it was too emotional for her to sell it or rent it to some one. Bass was still there, Angela would put his breakfast before going to work and then come back for his dinner when she left work. Jane would sometimes drop by to spend time there. She got in, dropped her keys at the table and went to the fridge. It no longer had Maura`s healthy food, there was only the beer that Jane brought occasionally .Jane sat on the couch staring at the ceiling with watery eyes_ Maura is alive. she`s ok, I didn't kill her _a small smile appeared on her lips_. Why didn't she come home? Why did she let me suffer like this? That damn Doyle_. Jane bet her lower lip with anger. She drank and drank until she was out cold.

Jane woke up to her cell phone ringing. "What now" she said annoyed.

"Jane? It's Korsak. I asked around and it seems that Doyle rented an apartment awhile ago registered to Selsi " Jane's eyes widen as she remembered Maura telling her that Selsi is actually

"isles spelled backwards" Jane mumbled. "Give me the address" she was already on her way to her car

"Jane what are you thinking? Its Dayle's apartment. What do you think you`re doing?".

"Just give me the address Korsak. I won't do anything stupid I promise".

It was a normal building; she could see the light on from the street. She stayed in her car a few moments. _What will she find in there?_ "Screw it". She went inside it was quit, and as she reached the apartment she heard two heavy foot steps behind her. She turned just in time to get punched in the jaw.

"Detective Rizzoli twice in one week it must be our luck". Jane couldn't stop the constant plows she got to the stomach or the kicks she got when she fell to the ground. She didn't notice the sudden light that felled the hall.

"Stop" it was quit, but firm and the two men stopped at command. _That voice, she knows that voice. But it can't be. the voice she knew could never be this cold. It can't be. _It was so bright; she slowly raised her head to the figure in front of her. The figure was bear foots leaning on a cane, yoga pants and a shirt with hand to the waist, blond hair. Finally she was staring at hazel eyes that can only belong to one person. Those eyes were different than she remembers, they were cold.

"Maura" Jane whispered before everything went black.

**Sooo,maybe it wont clear out for a few chapters ;)**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Maura kept looking at Jane`s limp body at the hallway for a moment with cold eyes. "Take her to the bed room" her voice lacked any emotions. the two men carried Jane to the bed quietly,"get me some bandages from the pharmacy"

"yes ma`am"

Maura closed the door behind them, made her way slowly with her cane and grabbed a wet cloth. she pulled a chair next to the bed and started cleaning the blood off Jane's face "you couldn't let it go, could you Jane?" she mumbled. Just as Maura started cleaning Jane's face, Jane stirred

"Maura?" her head hurt like hell and her vision was blurry .Maura simply stopped, withdrew her hand from Jane's face and stayed quit. "Maura?" Jane's eyes were starting to water and she was becoming more alert. The next thing Maura knew Jane was hugging her so tight she almost couldn`t breathe and she could feel Jane's body shaking with sobs "you're here you're here you're here" Jane was saying over and over as if to convince herself that she was actually with Maura . _she`s here she`s here I found her she`s ok she`s ok. _Maura stiffened at first with her arms twitching to her side ,when Jane didn't loosen her grip on her Maura finally put her arms around Jane and her eyes soften

"I'm here" she whispered and a small smile appeared on her lips as she drew circles on Jane's back.

After a while, Jane's sobs subsided. "Jane, we`re putting you back to bed ok?"Maura whispered close to Jane's ear. When Jane didn't respond Maura got up with Jane still hugging her and every cell in her leg screamed at her. When she lowered Jane to the bed, Jane's grip tightens around her.

"Don't leave me" Jane sounded like a scared child.

"It's ok, I won`t leave. Sleep I`ll be here." Maura sat back at the chair and held Jane's hand. Jane's body was tired and sore, she tried fighting the dizzies afraid that Maura won`t be here when she wakes up. That she will wake up in her apartment with a hangover and everything would be a dream. It didn't take Jane long to fell asleep, Maura was still biting her lip with her leg screaming at her. She got up with her cane and went to the living room quietly to make sure she doesn't wake up Jane. Maura sat down on the couch trying her best not to make a sound, she couldn`t help but grab her thigh with two hands. Her body was shaking with unspoken sobs _"like I said Miss Doyle you can`t put anymore weight to that leg if you do..." "I know I know you don`t have to keep telling me this I AM a doctor". _Maura tried taking some deep breaths to compose herself once again_, the boys will be here any minute now with the bandages._ She hated being this cold person, but it's what she has to be if she wants to survive in this world.

Jane woke up with a headache _fuck. _She was raising her hand to scrub her eyes when she notices the clean bandage on her wrist _what the. _She stared at the bandage for a few seconds when she remembered what happened. _Maura_ she shot up from bed and was about to open the door when she heard Maura's voice "I don't care Doyle; this is not what we agreed on" "what do you mean no harm done? I opened my apartment door to find the boys knocking the wind out of her and you tell me no harm done?" "I know. I know you had to stop her from investigating but that does NOT justify what you did" " I have to go" "yeah I'll take care of it" Jane cracked the door open and looked at Maura who throw the phone sending it flying across the room and grabbing the kitchen counter trying to calm her self . _What the hell is going on? _

When she saw Maura coming toward the room, Jane ran back to bed and pretended to be sleeping. Maura came in and sat on the chair again. Jane could hear the cane as it hit the wooden floor. "You do realize that I know that you are not sleeping, don't you Jane?" Maura said with a smirk


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"You do realize that I know you're not sleeping, don't you Jane?" said Maura with a smirk.

Jane opened her eyes and was met with hazel ones. "I've missed you" Jane whispered and a tear escaped her eye.

"I know. Enough with the crying already, it doesn't suit you, you know?" Maura smiled at Jane.

"I thought you died, everyone thought you died. Why didn't you come back? Ma is going to be over the moon" Jane had a huge grin on her face.

"No one ever needs to know that" Maura's voice was cold and firm.

"What?"

Maura looked everywhere except Jane's gaze. What could she tell her? Maura took her cane, got up and said "I'm going to fix us something to eat" and with that she was gone.

Jane was not letting it slide; she knew that Maura was avoiding her question. She got up and joined Maura at the kitchen. "Maura, what happened back then?" Jane said quietly.

"What different does it make Jane?" Maura answered quietly

"The different is that you`ve been alive all this time and you haven't even tried calling me, telling me you were ok."Jane was getting angry "a year Maura! A year! I though you died. every time we find a body somewhere in a dump my heart hurt ,because I kept thinking that on day it will be yours!" Jane was shouting at this point and Maura was just looking at her with cold eyes and a smirk

"you`ve gone soft"

"What?" Jane was shocked with Maura's reply. "That tends to happen when you see your best friend giving her life away because of you". This time Maura chuckled at Jane

"so dramatic Jane. As you can see I'm very much alive so you can go away now" Maura's voice was ice cold and it left Jane there with her mouth open. _What the hell was that?_ Maura set the table and put two plats. She sat down and started eating, Jane however was still staring at Maura with disbelieve.

They both ate dinner in silent, each drowning in her own thoughts. _ What did she mean 'you can go away now'? Why is she acting this cold? And if she thinks that I'm leaving without her then she has something else coming her way. _Jane was staring at Maura again for a moment and then she went back to her plate. Maura raised her head just in time to see Jane's head going down. _ I can't tell her. This is for the best, sending her back heartbroken is a million time better than sending her back in body bag. _"So, when are you leaving?" Maura stabbed her food. Jane sat back in her seat, crossed her arms and said

"when are you coming home?"

"I am home"

"are you kidding Maura? You left a house to live in an apartment which Doyle rented? Do I need to remind you what you said about Doyle? You said he was a stone cold killer!"

Maura sipped her whine slowly and said "what makes you think I'm different than him? I`m a Doyle Jane, and I'll always be a Doyle". Jane's mind traveled to her conversation with Doyle _"she is a Doyle and she will always be a Doyle"_. Jane tried holding Maura`s hand only to get shut off.

"Listen to me Maura, you are NOTHING like him. This is a man who kills people for a living for gad sake".

"Well, some people deserve to die. I had to learn that the hard way" Maura started rubbing her leg without realizing and her mind traveled miles away. when Jane saw that she reached for Maura's hand again, Maura was taken off guards and when she felt the hand on top of hers she flinched and jumped out of her chair only to have the pain shooting up her leg again causing her to fell backwards and onto the floor .Jane was by her side and when she reached out for her, Maura motioned her to not, so she sat down next to Maura on the floor. Quietly she whispered

"what happened to you in there Maura?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Maura thought about what to tell Jane at this time. She knew that Jane was not letting it go, but she can't tell her the truth. Well part of the truth wouldn't be a lie. "A fracture in the femur can be very risky" she started in her clinical voice as she was reaching for her cane to help her up. "A double fracture can easily Penetrates one or more of the muscles surrounding the bone itself". Jane offered her hand to support Maura but she just brushed her away and continued as she pushed herself up on her cane. "Extremely painful actually. The sensation itself can be described as being stabbed with a dagger over and over again. recovery rate is a minimum 6 months, most patients become addicted to the pain killers during their recovery ." Jane was listing quietly with her arms wide open in front and behind Maura just in case Maura collapsed again.

"Maura …. I …" Jane was at lots of her words. What could she possibly say to make things better? This is all her fault and Maura was the one paying the price.

"I think you should go now" Maura`s voice was quit, she shouldn't have said anything to Jane. Now Jane will blame herself for this.

"I'm not leaving without you" Jane whispered studying the ground.

"I can have you killed if you didn't leave Jane" a smirk was now plastered on Maura`s face. _ Is this Maura? When did she become this cold? _

"I know you would never do that Maura" Jane didn't understand Maura`s smirk until Maura reached for a near drawer. Jane's eyes went wide with the realization. A knife, Maura was carrying a knife with the smirk growing wider and wider. "You wouldn't do that" Jane's voice was pleading _what the hell she is doing?_ .Maura was now playing with the knife in her hand.

"I never realized that carrying a knife is so much similar to carrying a scalpel." Maura sighed and said "I missed carrying a scalpel" there was a sense of sadness in her voice.

"You can still carry a scalpel Maura, just come back with me. Please Maura" Jane was now begging.

"Look at you Jane, You really have gone soft. Since when does the great Jane Rizzoli beg?" Maura mocked Jane with a chuckle.

"Maura….I know you. You wouldn't do this" Jane was still calm _stay calm stay calm, it's just Maura she would never hurt you_.

"Like you said Jane, it's been a year. Circumstances change, people change and so did I"

"I heard the phone call you made to Doyle, you were angry because he sends those men to beat me up. You would never hurt me Maura" Maura was studying the knife in her hand.

"Maybe you`re right Jane, I could never hurt you and you know that" Jane released a sigh of relief in her mind. "But..." Maura knocked the nearest wall with her cane in a rhythm and it didn't take long for the two men from earlier to burst the apartment door. "do you know if they won`t ?" one of the men took a step near Maura ,Maura simply handed him the knife still not taking her eyes off of Jane " detective Rizzoli here has passed her welcome time ." Jane had a hard time swallowing now. She knew that Maura would never hurt her, but this is different. Those are trained killers and will not hesitate to kill her. Just as the man took a step toward her Maura said "make it classic, I want to enjoy this" a twisted smile appeared on Maura's lip as she leaned on the sofa behind her.

"Maura?" fear was consuming Jane now. If she fought against him, she was sure that the second one would put a bullet hole in her head. There was no messing around with these men. "Maura?"

Jane stood still as the man approached her. The table was now behind her, there was nowhere to go. He leaned forward and she squeezed her eyes shut. She could feel his breath on her neck. She prayed for a miracle. _Maura_


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

She could feel the blade near her throat ,his body was now pressed against hers a single tear escaped her eyes _Maura is gone_ she should have just let it go . The next thing she knew was the knife being stabbed in the table behind her and he was gone. She wouldn't dare to open her eyes with her breath hitched in her throat, she heard the door slam .her body flinched and she opened her eyes slowly. The first thing she saw was Maura still leaning on the sofa and staring at Jane with cold eyes. Jane was shaking and didn't feel her hand flying to her mouth to muff the sobs or the fact that she was now on the floor shaking. _Maura is gone, this isn't her. You idiot, what did you expect to find here? She_ wished she had listened to Korsak and didn't come here. Maura had a mocking smirk on her face and as she made her way to sit on the sofa she said "leave Jane". Maura`s heart was breaking in the site of Jane, she wanted to run and hold Jane _it`s for the best Maura_. _Don't be selfish, let her hate you. _

Fifteen minutes later, Jane had composed herself and drowned in her thoughts once again as she looked at Maura`s head above the sofa as she was watching TV. _Ok, what do I know? Nothing! Focus, those men could have easily killed me. They didn`t kill, why? The Maura that I knew is far long gone. This Maura is cold, so cold. When I woke up the first time I could have sworn that she didn't change at all, she held me. She soothed me; she took care of my wounds. And her voice was warm again. I can`t tell anymore, what did she mean when she said' I'll take care of it` well at least I know now that she didn`t mean killing me . Wait! She keeps insisting that I leave why? Maybe she is in some sort of trouble. This is just hopeful thinking Jane accept the facts already! _Her mind fought with itself. Jane bit her lip and decided to go with her gut. She got up and went to the sofa. "The door isn't this way" Maura didn't take her eyes off the screen.

"I know" Jane took a seat at the end of the sofa.

Jane hoped that sitting there quietly would make Maura open up a little, but Maura just kept avoiding Jane's gaze. after a while, Jane thought that it would be a good idea to break the silent by talking about her family and see what Maura`s reaction would be."So, um….ma has been taking good care of bass"

"I know" Maura said quietly without realizing what she just said, so Jane decided to carry on. Jane kept talking and talking about everything and anything came to her mind about them until finally and she can see the aggregation building in Maura`s face. Maura huffed and said "I know Jane! just because I can`t come back does not mean I couldn't keep track of everyone" Maura took sharp inhale realizing what she just said, Jane's eyes widened .

Maura pretended to watch TV again to avoid Jane's questioning eyes. _ What have I done? You couldn't keep that information to your self could you?_ "Maura" Maura was ignoring Jane "Maura!" Jane had enough of this she jumped to Maura`s side and screamed "MAURA!" She grabbed Maura from her upper arms and started shaking her furiously. "LOOK AT ME; I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS ACT! STOP ACTING So Cold!" Jane shouted ,Maura looked everywhere but Jane's eyes.

"If you had enough then maybe you should leave" Maura`s voice was just above a whisper. That just made Jane angrier

"NO I`M NOT LEAVING DO YOU HEAR ME? I`M NOT LEAVING! DEAL WITH IT!" Maura winced as Jane tithed her grab on Maura. Realizing what she was doing, she let go of Maura. "I'm not leaving." she said quietly looking at her hands in her lap. Maura sat there in shock when her phone rang. She didn't pick it up she just let it ring as she observed Jane. One of the men burst the door gasping for air and said "we have a problem"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"What is it?" Maura was calm and talked quietly. "Its O'Rourke's men. They`re here, they must have fallowed her here" the man motioned at Jane with a Disgustted look on his face. Maura got up from the couch as she instructed the man "take care of them; make the others cover for you while you get the car near the building. We`ll be using the fire stairs and we`ll meet you at the back street" "yes ma`am" the man was gone and Maura started wearing a coat and pulled the knife out of the table and hide it at the back of her pants. "Let's go" Jane was still confused at was happening. "Move!" Maura instructed and they both made their escape. Jane could see Maura biting her lip the whole way. _Her leg must be killing her by now_ Jane could barely hear the sound of her thoughts over the sounds of the bullets being shot in the building. " take us to the safe house" Maura commanded as they got in the car, as if she just now realized that Jane was with her she cursed annoyed and grabbed Jane's head and pulled it to her lap "what the hell" Jane was taken aback by Maura's sudden move and didn't have time to resist . "The last thing I need right now is to be seen with you" Maura said quietly as she was watching the road.

Jane didn't mind her position the whole ride, it was soothing for her having her head in Maura's lap and for a short half hour everything was ok. "We`re here" Maura said dryly and got out of the car, Jane fallowed her to the house. It didn't take long for paddy to arrive "what happed Maura?" "O'Rourke's men happened" Maura said as she was massaging her thigh, "I see" he looked at Jane with the same look his men gave her "and what is she doing here?" "I couldn't just leave her there to die" Maura explained. Jane was standing next to Maura and rubbing her hand, "Maura, do you want me to call the doctor?" paddy was concerned at his daughter`s condition "I AM a doctor, and I don't need another doctor. I'll just go find me a change of clothes" Maura stood and left the room.

Jane and Doyle watched in silent as Maura left the room and then Jane turned to Doyle "I know you hate me, I just want to know what happen to her, please Doyle" Jane was ready to beg Doyle if she had to. Doyle sighed and took a seat at the sofa. "I was late" he said quietly as he started turning the ring in his finger. The gilt was showing on his face as he spoke again "O'Rourke's men were after me, they thought that Maura knew where I was. you were just a bonus to them." paddy sighed and said "they would torture a person until he couldn't take any more, then they would send a doctor to patch him up and start all over again" Jane's heart was breaking with ever word paddy said "when I found her, she was curled up in a corner with a knife in her hand. She was shaking so bad, the knife was red and there was a body of a man lying on the other side of the room. His pants was all the way to his ankles" Jane covered her mouth with her hand and looked at where Maura had disappeared; she knew that terrible things must have happened to Maura, but never this bad, never this cruel. "I called for her but she wouldn't answer, I kneeled next to her and for a moment she looked as if she didn't recognize me. With a blink of an eye, she changed, she talked coldly to me as if nothing happened and she never spoke of what happened. something just shut down in her and although she acts as if nothing happened I can see its killing her everyday to Act this way" Doyle got up and started leaving when Jane asked " what was the deal?" Doyle stopped "she never told me" he whispered and left.

Jane dragged her feet back to where Maura had gone, _Maura... why are you shutting me out? _ Jane found Maura in a bed room rubbing some lotions to her arms " we should get some sleep" Jane smiled sadly and nodded, they both laid in bed staring at the ceiling "Maura , can I ask you something and promise me to be honest" Maura sighed and said "FINE, what do you want to know Jane?" "What was the deal?" Maura turned and give Jane her back. it was quit for a while before Maura spoke again " I told them that IF I knew where paddy was ,I will only tell them when they let you go" " but, you didn't know where he was" Jane was confused " they didn't know THAT" they were both quit again , Jane didn't know if she should ask Maura or not " umm, Doyle told me he found you" " yes he did" Maura said flatly " he thinks that you were….." Maura was getting annoyed "I wasn`t raped Jane!" Maura shot back "I killed him before he had the chance to anyway" Maura said quietly. "I told you that my DNA will eventually show that I am a natural killer" "Maura…" "I knew he had a knife, he used it on me before so I knew where he kept it. I didn't know what was happening until I stabbed him" "Maura you had to" Jane said quietly. Maura took a breath before she continue "I took an oath to do no harm .I didn't just stab him, I stood there and watched as the life left his body. Maura Doyle died the day she was born, Maura isles died with that man. Now, I don't know who`s left anymore" Maura got up "I`m going to drink some water" and she left.

Maura was opening the fridge door when Jane hugged her from behind. Maura`s shoulders shook as she tried hard not to cry "it's ok, let it out" Jane's voice was barely a whisper and Maura collapsed into the ground taking Jane down with her. Maura could barely breathe between sobs as she covered her face with her hands; Jane was having a hard time stopping her own tears as she held Maura. When Maura's sobs subsided, Jane whispered "why don't you come back with me Maura. Everything will be back to normal" "I can never go back" Maura mumbled sniffing "they will always find me; I can't do that to you, to Angela, to my parents. I just can't" Maura started sobbing again.

When they both went back to bed, Jane couldn't sleep. She looked at Maura next to her, dyed tear tracks on her cheeks. She had to do something, she couldn't leave Maura, she simply couldn't "I just found you, I'm not losing you again" Jane whispered in the darkness. She kissed Maura's forehead and went to the living room taking Maura`s phone with her. She called the last number showing in the records and waited for answer "yes?" "Doyle we need to talk"

"Detective, did something happen to Maura?" "no she`s sleeping, she said she can't come back. Why?" "The same reason her case file was erased for. To keep you out of harm's way" "what do you mean?" "It was best if everyone thought she died there, lately some men started snooping around the subject. she said if they found out she was alive she didn't want them to find out you were the last one to see her, if they knew what happened they would know that they could use you to Pressure her for information she doesn't even know!" the line was quit until Doyle talked again "she said she didn't anyone she loved hurt because of her, that's why she can't come back. I promised her that it will never happen again but she didn't want to take any chance of anyone getting hurt" "can really promise that she will be safe?" "Yes detective" "what happened last time? why couldn't you protect her last time?" "Because I had a snitch between my men, he laid out all my tactics and weaknesses but I made sure it would never happen again" Jane hanged the phone and started biting her nails. Who could she convince Maura to come back if she herself couldn't make sure that Maura would be safe?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Jane was about to give anything she has to get things back to normal with Maura on her side. After a few hours of thinking she crawled to bed next to Maura and studied Maura's figure next to her, Maura was sleeping on her side facing Jane with a hand extended during her sleep toward Jane , a few stray blond hair were crossing Maura`s face, her expiration was a bit hard . Jane wondered what was Maura dreaming right now, does Maura dream about her like she dreams about her? Jane took Maura's extended hand pulling it close to her when she noticed Maura`s nails, they are not what she remembers. They`re short. Too short as if they were just growing back. Jane swallowed the lump in her throat _there a lot I still don't know about what happened back then, I'm not sure I want to_. She kissed Maura's hand and drifted off to sleep.

Jane woke up alone in the bed; she got up and started wondering in the house until she spotted Maura sitting on the table sipping some tea.

"Morning" Jane started as she scrubbed her eyes chasing the sleep away

"Morning, breakfast is cold by now. You shouldn't have over slept" Maura's voice was calm but it lacked any emotion. Jane didn't respond and pulled a chair opposite to Maura

"You never did tell me, when you are leaving" Maura sipped her tea with her eyes darting the detective who was now eating her cold pan cakes

"And we`re back to square one" Jane mumbled while playing with her food

"Speak up"

Jane cleared her throat " I was thinking that maybe you should go back home with me" Maura started giggling at first but then her giggles turned into a huge laugh making Jane look at her with a confused expression. When Maura finally caught a glimpse of Jane's face she stopped laughing

"Oh, you`re being serious?" Maura looked at Jane with wide eyes

"Yeah, why not? I`ve talked to Doyle, he said that your safe now and it will never happen again and …. And you have me, I ….I'll keep you safe" Jane studied her food as blush crossed her cheeks.

"Remember the last time you`ve kept me safe Jane? It didn't end so well did it?" Maura glared at Jane

"I know" Jane said ashamed of her. "But I know where I went wrong last time; I won't let it happen again. We`ll coordinate with Doyle, we`ll have surveillance covering your house on the clock. I`ll never leave your side I promise"

"You do realize what you`re asking of me don't you?" Maura answered sarcastically to Jane's request with a snore

"Yes! Maura I know I've done nothing but disappoint you over and over. I don't deserve your trust but please Maura, let me earn it again" Jane pleaded

Maura stood suddenly causing Jane to stop talking "one week Jane. you have one week to prove yourself, if I somehow managed to survive it I'll think of coming back if not, well you have my word that my ghost will haunt you yelling 'I told you so' each day for the rest of your life" Maura finally faced Jane with a smirk on her face

"I wouldn't have it any other way" Jane replied excited with a huge grin spreading across her face. "I have to go fix everything back at the house; I'll call you when I'm done. Start packing cuz your never coming back her Maur" Jane said as she ran out of the house. A small smile danced on Maura`s lips as she watched her egged friend leave in a hurry.

An hour later Maura`s phone rang and the name 'Jane' flashed at the screen "hello?" she answered with hesitation

"Yeah, hi Maura I have a favor to ask"

"You have a favor to ask of me?" Maura answered annoyed "when the hell did you save my number? not to mention saved your number on mine. Care to explain?"

"Ummm, no. ok just listen, everyone thinks I've lost my mind"

"Well, you did lose your mind" Maura replied quietly

"Ha ha nice one, no seriously they think I'm making this hole your alive thing up"

"The hole is alive thing?" Maura replied a bit offended

"Just talk to them, please? Tell them I'm not crazy ok?" Jane pleaded

Maura sighed "fine just put one of them on the phone" Maura could hear the phone being passed from one person to the other and frost`s voice came up

"Yeah, 'doctor isles' what can I do for you today" he said sarcastically

"Well, you can stop making fun of Jane for a starter. she is not crazy, Yet!" the line went silent for a few moments and the sound of vomiting and Korsak`s laugh, the phone passing again. this time Korsak`s voice filled the line

"I have no idea who this is but I think I'm going to love this, a phone call making frost vomit. what did you tell him?" Korsak`s voice was filled with joy

"Veince it's me" Maura tried again

"Is this some kind of joke?" Korsak`s voice was getting angrier

"No Veince, it me! Maura"

"Prove it!"

"How am I supposed to do that?" Maura started digging something, anything that would make Veince believe her

"Figure it out"

"A few years ago you started having chest pains, you thought it was a heart attack but it turned out to be gas due to your so called 'new régime'. Honestly who would make a diet made of beans and crackers?" Maura said satisfied of her self

"I'll be dammed…... doc?" Korsak answered shocked

"Yeah Vince it's me"

"What happened, are you ok? Where are you?"He hissed those questions all at one breath

"I'm ok, Jane will explain everything" and the line went dead

Later that night Jane made the call out to Maura to come back home, Maura had prepared a small briefcase. "I send ma away for the week so you don't have to worry about meeting anyone right now" Maura simply nodded and took a step inside her house. _It's been too long_ Maura scanned every surface in the house before taking another step inside. "Everything is set as I promised and I'll be here with you the whole time" Jane smiled at Maura _the whole time_.

Everything was running smoothly, spending time at Maura's house never felt easier. They stayed up all night talking and laughing about stories of the Rizzoli family. It was thought nothing happened, it felt as if it was only yesterday, sitting right where they are right now, letting the long day of work pass by. Nothing has changed; Maura was finally letting her guard down again. They were watching a program that Maura chose on TV. Maura looked at Jane across the couch from her _Maybe it's about time this nightmare finally ended_

But all dreams must come to an end at some point. We all have to wake up eventually.


	12. Chapter 12

Jane didn't mean to investigate Maura, but seeing Maura emerge from her study at home with puffy red eyes made it impossible for Jane to resist going back into the study without Maura's noticing.

Although while staying here every piece felt like it fit perfectly like the old times, Maura was still holding back and from times to times Jane would catch a glimpse of the saddest expiration in Maura's face when she thought that Jane wasn't looking. It almost felt like it was remorse mixed with hope, Jane couldn't be sure since Maura would always shift to a smile when Jane looked at her. Three more days Jane reminded herself, she kept the countdown every minute of every day, three more days and she would guarantee that Maura was coming back for good.

Sitting in Maura's chair at the study she noticed a not completely closed drawer, an envelope addressed to her was laying in neat way inside the drawer. Glancing at the door once more to make sure that Maura hadn't come out of her shower; Jane opened the envelope to find Maura's tidy handwriting looking back at her

_Jane,_

_I`m not sure how to write this, all my life I have send numberless amount of formal letters. Letter to my parents, letters to college application, letters regarding my work. Never in my life have I imagined myself writing a personal letter to anyone I am not sure how to address it properly. I know it's the coward way out and I know that this makes one. Still I could never bring myself to tell you, how I could tell you._

_No matter what happens this week I need you to know that I chose this, this is what I wanted. I already knew that by coming her I have sentenced myself to death, I have made peace with the idea. Don't worry, my ghost will not come and hunt you I was merely trying to attempt a joke. I'm not sure if you got it or not. Seeing your face that day made me realize, it doesn't matter how long you have to live. What matter is how long you are going to spend it with the ones you love? _

_I apologize for putting you in a satiation like this Jane. Dying is the best thing I have to offer, I know you don't understand. Hate me all you want Jane; I won't deny you that right. I apologize for dragging you in this mess with me, I hope that once this is all over that you won't be in the cross fire . No matter what you say Jane, I know that this is for the best. I hope that one day you will understand my _decision_. You can't save everyone Jane, remember that. Sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do._

_I knew that if I died without you trying all you can do to prevent it you wouldn't forgive your self. I knew that 'what ifs' _scenario_ will keep on hunting you like it did the first time. That's why I came here, to show you that there are some things that we can't change no matter what. I'm tired Jane, I'm tired of running, of hiding, looking over my shoulder all the time. It's not a life I would wish upon anyone, its time I face the bullet, isn't this what you always say Jane? _

_Move on Jane. I want you to move on; we can't live in the past. Come what may Jane, you can go through it with me or without me by your side .forgive me for hurting you; it seems that this is all I keep doing to the ones close to me. _

_Forgive me _

On the outside Jane looked calm, on the inside a hurricane of emotions was pounding. Is it anger, fury, is it sadness, sorrow. She didn`t know, what she did know is that she wasn't leaving this letter pass easily. Jane shot up practically slamming the chair to the wall behind it

Maura was just out of the shower with her silk pajama preparing to sleep. Her wet hair free without a care as she headed drink some water. "What's this Maura?" Jane voice was felled with venom but still low

Maura looked at the letter now clutched between Jane's fingers and released a sigh. She returned the glass to the sink and starts heading to her room "are you going to run away from me again Maura?!" Jane yelled and Maura stopped dead at her tracks. Slowly turning around to face Jane with a bored look on her face

"You idiot" Maura said quietly lacking any emotions. Jane froze for a second before the anger boiled inside her as she clutched harder at the letter "what's with that face?" Maura's hand landed on her hip as she smirked with a giggle

"Why Maura... why the hell did you have to be like this!" Jane shouted again

"I already told you, Maura isles dyed" Maura's voice was still quite making Jane more irritated. Jane walked toward Maura clutching her teethes. She grabbed Maura's caller with her two hands.

"Stop it Maura, no one is died, you didn't die. You're not going to die, open your eyes already!" Jane screamed between gritted teethes. Everyone always gave to Jane's anger, hell she even scared frost but this is different. Maura didn't even blink and was meeting Jane's look of fury with a cold one, she didn't even bother raising her hands to loosen Jane's grip as if daring Jane to hit her. Their faces were merely inches apart and none of them was about to be stared down.

Jane didn`t even feel Maura moving she only felt Maura's cane being slammed into her knee forcing her to let go of Maura and fell backwards onto the ground facing Maura . She was still holding Jane's gaze who had pulled the cane from Maura's hand and taken it down with her as she fell. "My eyes has been open for a while now" Maura started with Contempt

"I was able to see beyond my on foolishness and dreams of a peaceful future with morons like you" Maura raised her head slightly "that's why I never came back! That why I'm with Doyle" Maura's tone was getting agitated "my dreams are no longer of the future, they`re of the past... that's where they lye" her tone quite again.

The pain was building up in her leg; she didn't care so she simply ignored it. " everyone… everyone tried hard to find you, everyone fell in sorrow when we thought you died" Jane's anger was boiling again, she didn't know what bothered her the most, Maura acting like this or the fact that she didn't understand why Maura was acting like this

"How nice of them" Maura mocked in her usual tone and turned around as if to leave. That was it for Jane, all she saw was red, how dared she mock them like this after what everyone has been through, after what her parents went through, after what Jane went through. Jane shot up and ran toward Maura

"Mauraaaa!" Jane yelled with fury, Maura turned just in time for Jane to grab her collar with on hand and raise the other. She thought about it for a split second before slapping Maura cross the face, splitting her lower lip in the process. Blond hair flew to catch up with the force of impact landing on Maura's face covering her eye.

No reaction, Maura stood still for a moment before Jane noticed a smirk appearing on the split lip. "is that all?" Maura's mocking voice come back again confusing Jane about what the doctor had meant "if that's all then I won`t even need it" Maura wiped the droplets of blood with the back of her hand. "You haven't noticed have you? I`m not even using my cane" Maura explained with the smirk imbedded in her lips. And turned her head to once more hold Jane's confused gaze.

"don't underestimate me Maura!" Jane raised her hand this time with a closed fist when a closed fist met with her face making her take a few steps away from Maura. She took a minute to assist her now split lip

"Now we`re even" Maura said with a smirk as she crossed her arm in front of her. Jane growled and searched for something in the kitchen and throws a plastic banana at Maura. Maura brought her hands to her face to shield herself. When she realized what it was that Jane had throw at her, her mouth hung open in shock. Jane was the one to have a satisfied smirk on her face when she noticed a wooden spoon thrown toward her.

"Really Maura, a spoon?" Jane mocked

"Oh and I suppose a plastic banana is soo much better!" Maura shot back

"Don't get me started" Jane grabbed another plastic fruit and throw it again and Maura barely dodging it "why did you have to change?" Jane throws again

"You don't know what I had to live through!" Maura throw another wooden object with frustration

"You don't know what I had to go through either!" Jane throw again hitting Maura on the top of her head "you should be grateful for a friend like me" Jane pointed a finger at Maura and throw again

"I am! Thank you dammit! Thank you" Maura yelled with frustration

"You're welcome!" Jane shouted back Jane took a step not noticing the mess on the ground around her; she slipped falling on her behind. Maura started laughing at Jane with her leg shaking now until it gave on her making her fall back as well on her behind. Both looked at each other for a few second before bursting into laughter. It's been a while since either of them laughed a hearted laugh like this; they were laughing so hard and had to hold their stomachs.

Their laughter started subsiding and Maura sniffed "I never thought I'd feel a disambiguation"

"Huh?" Jane didn't understand what Maura was saying

"disambiguation or a **phantom limb** , it is the sensation that an amputated or missing limb is still attached to the body and is moving appropriately with other body parts" Maura choked on her words wiped her eye and studied her hands in her lap.

"Oh Maura" Jane got up and sat next to Maura, shoulder to shoulder "Maura you still have your leg and I'm sure it will heal, even if didn't take a week or two it will still heal" Jane said with Compassion

Maura shook her head "I wasn't talking about my leg Jane." She raised her head to meet Jane's gaze. "I was talking about you" Jane's eyes soften and throw her arm around Maura giving her a side hugs as the smaller woman sniffed

"We`ll be ok, right?" Jane said with a hopeful tone. Maura sighed once more looking at the mess in her kitchen

"I don`t know anymore, I don't know"


	13. Chapter 13

Maybe this is what feels like to die, maybe this is how he felt when I he died. Dying …. Dying here would be so easy; it would be so perfecto just dies here. Jane wouldn't have to see me die at least, oh Jane. I wish I could see you one last time, I wish I had told you. I am a coward, even in the letter that was supposed to be reveling everything, I couldn't say it. It seems so stupid now, what I did was unforgiveable but you did anyway. If I died here, if I died now everything would go back to normal. Everyone's life will go back as it was; I won't have to look over my shoulders anymore. I already told you Jane, I came here knowing I would die. Jane doesn't cry, it's not worth it, I'm not worth it. If I closed my eyes now, I can see you. I can see your messy hair, I can see your eyes, and I can see … you. I asked for your forgiveness, but now I see that I should have thanked you instead. Thank you for all the time we have had together, thank you for accepting me, for making me apart of your family. Thank you for the last week. It felt like a dream I had for a while now to spend time with you like we used to, thank you for making my dream come true, even if it was for a little bit. I told you that my dreams are of the past, I meant it Jane, the days I've spend with you were more than enough for me. I can only hope that you move on now Jane, let me go, don't blame yourself anymore Jane. Let me go

Eight hours earlier:

Jane and Maura were lying next to each other on the queen sized bed facing the ceiling. They grow a habit of sleeping in the same bed, since Jane refused to leave Maura's side and Maura refused to let Jane sleep on a chair. "Tomorrow you`re going to bring all your stuff here right?" Jane started as she leaned her head closer to Maura's direction

"No, I might bring them the day after tomorrow" Maura answered sleepily

"Why not tomorrow?" Jane's brows flows

"Because the deal was a week"

"And?"

"Well, tomorrow is the last day of the week. So we`ll see what happens"

"Fine! You`ll bring them here anyway, doesn't matter when" Jane mumbled more to herself than to Maura as she turned to her side away from Maura , Maura staffed a giggle at the annoyed detective .

"Come on, it's only one day more" Maura offered a hand on Jane's shoulder

"More like seventeen hours more" Jane mumbled

Waking up was always the same, Maura woke up before Jane and left the room without making a sound. Jane always wondered if Maura did that because nightmares wouldn't let her sleep much. But there was no way of telling, Maura didn't like to mention anything that relates to her time back there and Jane didn't want to push her.

Jane was brushing her teethes when she heard a soft knock on the door, taking a step back from the bathroom sink. Jane found Cavenooh standing at the door way. "Sir, wha... what are you doing here?" Jane was surprised to see her boss. He knew about the situation of course, but he never comes by before.

"I need to talk to you" he said with a sigh

"O-okeey. just let me get Maura, she`s probably making herself a breakfast" Jane cleaned her mouth with a towel and headed to the door when Cavenooh took a step to block the entrance

"No, there no need for her to be here"

"Umm, what this is about" Jane took a few steps and sat on the corner of the bed waiting for Cavenooh to speak

"I... can't let you do this anymore" he started

"Wha... do what?" Jane was at lost

Taking a deep breath he continued "this isn't what doctor isles want"

"What are you talking about? I`m not going to just let her die" Jane answered annoyed as she rolled her eyes with her hands gesturing all over the place

"Don't you understand how doctor isles feel?" he questioned

Jane got up and walked toward the door annoyed "don't get in my way" Cavenooh didn't move from an inch. Jane growled "why are you trying to stop my?" her voice was getting above normal

"You said this to me once before 'I won't let the people important to me get hurt' that you would risk your life to protect your comrades" Jane exhaled loudly and darted Cavenooh with an get this thing over with look

"In order to protect everyone, doctor isles is trying to sacrifice herself"

"No-no I won't let it happen, I won't let Maura do such a thing. I don't want anyone to be scarified" Jane shook her head forcibly, that isn't not an option on the table

"you`re too idealistic" Jane raised her head to look Cavenooh in the eyes " we are all still too weak to turn those ideals into reality" Cavenooh closed his eyes and took a deep breath "you`re a Boston PD detective. People's lives depend on us. We don't have time for idealism"

Jane curled her hands into fists and clenched her jowl "why don't you understand?" she spoke with a mixture of pleading and anger. "I can't weigh the people's life against hers. I promised I would protect her" Cavenooh stood as if satisfied with her respond and took a step to the side. Jane walked out of the room as she mumbled "why can't you get that"

"Rizzoli" Jane turned around to see Cavenooh with a guilty look on his face "I'm sorry"

That was weird, Jane thought as she walked to the stairs. Why was Cavenooh apologizing to her? . "hey Maura what`s for breakfast?" she called as she reached took the stairs. Maura didn't respond, the lights on the ground were off, Maura always turn them on. Even if its morning, Maura just had a thing for the shadows perhaps they reminded her of things she wants to forget.

Jane called again as she reached for her gun on the table near the stairs. Jane walked slowly in the house her gun lowered with the safety off. Seeing a large figure standing near the window with his back to Jane, Jane raised her weapon "hands were I can see them" the figure turned around. "Doyle, you're lucky I didn't shoot you" Jane said with a snort

Doyle how ever did not smile, his face was filled with grieve, sadness. "She loved you, you know. She wanted you to know that" he spoke quietly as his eyes traveled to a spot in the ground. Fallowing his gaze, Jane saw a body lying on the ground. Jane gasped at what she saw. She looked peaceful; her eyes were closed as she was laying on her back and her Arms next to her. She almost looked like she was sleeping if it wasn't for the pale complication.

Jane was frozen in her place, looking at the limp body lying on the floor. A minute passed before she kneeled slowly next to Maura and sat o the floor with her legs tucked under her. Cavenooh came downstairs, looking anywhere but at their direction.

Jane leaned forward placing a hand on Maura's cheek "she`s cold. This isn't a dream huh?" Jane whispered

"You don't have to hold back because I'm here. You should just cry at a time like this" Cavenooh spoke quietly still not daring to look at them.

"I … always got full marks on the tests back at the academy" Jane spoke quietly as she stroked Maura's blond locks. "I memorized more than 100 ideas on caps know-how ... and I always wrote the answers proudly"

"On day…. This problem showed up on a test" Jane contented stroking Maura's hair slowly "'answer the 25th clause of the cap know-how' and I wrote down the answer as usual" Jane sniffed as a sob rocked her body with her eyes filling with tears "a cop must not show any emotions at any situation. A cop must put the mission first and must have a heart that will allow him not to cry" Jane's face was now filled with tears tacks that dropped on Maura's face " Maura" Jane throw herself on Maura's body, clinging to Maura's cloths as a scream shacked her body .

Doyle stood with his hand on his heart and started tightening his grip as his body trampled a bit. Mobs don't cry, this can't be any exception. Cavenooh looked at Doyle and nodded, Doyle returned the gesture. Cavenooh took his exit, his task here is done. All he had to do was distract Jane long enough for Maura to die. He left with a dead man in his trunk, the same man that snack up on Maura earlier that day. All they found was an empty needle on him, Maura was still alive but she had made it clear that she didn't need a doctor and that she didn't want Jane to see her until it was over. They respected her wish ,it's over .

Or so they thought


	14. Chapter 14

**OK , thanks to a resent comment, i`ll be updating all chapters and removeing all spelling mistackes**

"_Maura you`re still in bed?" Jane crossed Maura's bedroom in a matter of seconds, it was the day after Ian had left. Maura should have been at work by now but instead she was still in her queen size bed with the blankets pulled all the way to cover her face. "Come on, we have work to do" Jane started pulling the blankets but was met with resistant. Maura lets out a growl _

"_Go away Jane. I took a personal day" Maura called beneath the blankets _

"_Not from me you didn`t. get off your ass" Jane tried pulling the blankets once more with no use. " come on Maura" Maura finally give up the fight and releases the blanket , the sudden release makes Jane stumbles back words before balancing herself again . Maura simply pulls one of her pillows and covers her face. Jane lets out a sigh and gets up "Maura come on" receiving no answer. Jane climes to the other end of the bed and gently pull away the pillow away from Maura's grasp. Maura looked as she had drifted off again. "Maura. I know you`re up. I'll just keep bugging you until you get up" Jane whispered softly with her face inches away from Maura's. Maura raised her hand smoking Jane in the process. "Oh gad. I think, oh gad you broke my nose it's bleeding" Maura's eyes opens at once with concern and guilt pouring out of them _

"_Jane let me see" Jane was covering her nose with both hands. "Let me see" Maura placed her hands on Jane's forearm trying to pray Jane's hands away from her nose. Jane was cursing and refused to remove her hand. Maura sat up on the bed and that's when Jane finally pulled her hands away with a huge smile _

"_Aha!" Jane jumped up with victory written all over her face. Realizing that she was tricked into getting up Maura rolled her eyes with frustration and pulled the pillow and dropped once more into her bed _

"_You`re insufferable" Maura said as she settled back again under her pillow. Jane huffed as her hands dropped to her lap .another idea sparkled in her head _

"_Maura maura maura maura maura" Jane kept calling non-stop hoping it would annoy the doctor until she gets up. _

"_Noooo" maura whined. Jane knew it was working so she kept calling and calling until maura pulled the pillow away from her face. _

"_You're not going to stop are you" maura said with and annoyed tone_

"_Not until you get up I'm not" Jane took a deep breath to start once more when waved her to shut up_

"_How the hell did I befriended someone as childish as you" Jane grins at her friend _

"_You know you love me, now get up before I start again" maura released a sigh of defeat. " maura maura maura"_

" _I'm up I'm up" maura got up and walked up to her blanket that was lying on the floor. Jane was walking toward the door thinking that maura would return the blanket and fallow her. When she turned around however, maura was once again lying in bed wrapped in her blanket _

"_Maura!" Jane stomped the floor with her feet frustrated. "Come on! Get up"_

"_Get up maura, get up" _

Maura could still hear Jane's voice ringing in her ear when she opened her eyes. _Am I dead? If I'm dead, how come I'm still lying in my living room? Something feels heavy, why am I vibrating? Is that…_

"Jane?" Jane shoots up from Maura's chest as she was burned her to find two hazel eyes staring at her

"Maura?" the hazel eyes blinked twice as if trying to understand the word "maura…" Jane's eyes watered once more and throw her, wrapping her arms around the thin nick and holding on for dear life

"Ow, Jane that hurts" Jane wasn't even paying action to Maura's whining; all she knew that right now, maura isn't cold anymore.

"You`re not died" Jane whispered.

"Do you want me died?" maura asked blankly as she tried to prep herself on her elbows which she found is extremely hard with Jane still hanging from her nick. She can feel the fabric near her shoulder getting warmer and warmer with Jane's tears.

"You stupid, stupid, stupid genius"

"Wow that's a lot of stupid" maura can feel Jane smiling and a small smile appears on her lips. As if Jane had suddenly realized something, she pulled away grabbing Maura's upper arms and started shaking the living hell out of her.

"Who many heart attacks are you planning on give me huh?" Jane said with force but maura didn't mind, she knew that this was coming out of fear. A fear that Jane had lost her once again.

"Easy, I'm going to need all my brain functions if I'm going to tell you" maura blinked a few times to flash away disorientation the shaking had caused her brain. Jane helped maura sit up slowly while her hands were in front and behind maura just in case. "I figured that if I was in an exposed location, that it would allure the big boys out and Doyle could strike then and everything would be over. No more running, no more hiding. I mean let's face it Jane, your plan wasn't exactly ideal." seeing that maura was already breathless and exhausted, Doyle took a step and continued

"Mobs get cocky, and that's what we were hoping for single handily killing my daughter? That would have taken them to the top. Maura was ready to die if it meant sparing you and your family this mess. Killing the big fish means that no more fishes small or big will be ever coming back. How is she alive right now, even I can't tell. I think that they didn't want her to die in here, they wanted to take her and kill her some place where all the mobs can see it."

" lucky us" Jane mumbled sarcastically and turned to tuck a few stray blond lock behind Maura's ear , who was no leaning in her full body weight on Jane .

"Can we sleep in today?" maura asked sleepily with closed eyes. Jane started chuckling at her friend who was now in her arms.

"Haven't you done enough of that sleeping beauty?" Jane said with a playful tone

"No, I haven't. dying does not count Jane, my body was more in distress than it was resting, having your heart beats slowed down to almost non I extremely exhausting its even …" maura was blurring out with the unconscious drawing her in when Jane stopped her .

"Ok, ok we can sleep in today" Jane couldn't help but smile

"Gooood" maura breathed out before drifting off once again. Jane placed a kiss on Maura's forehead, lingering to make sure that maura was indeed warm. She was still smiling as she stared at her sleeping friend. With a sudden realization, Jane lifted her head catching Doyle's gaze

"So what happens now?" Jane asked scared as hell at what Doyle's answer might be

"What do you think happens now?" a wide smile spread across Jane's face. And with that, Doyle took his exit

**happy now? maura is no longer a worm :) but thanks for the review**


	15. Chapter 15

Jane was lying on the bed facing her sleeping friend with a smile that reached her eyes. She wished that she could stay like this forever. She didn't have the chance to look at the sleeping form of Maura very often, they slept at the same time and Maura always seemed to wake up earlier than Jane. Jane prepped herself on her elbow to plant a kiss Maura's forehead. Returning to her previews spot, Jane used the back of her fingers to creases the milky skin softly. the peaceful features of Maura's face changed to distress, Jane thought that she may have waken her at first but Maura didn't open her eyes . Her breaths that were seconds ago evened and slow turned into rapid and short ones.

Jane had suspected that Maura was having nightmares but never really witnessed one of them. Maura's forehead soon filled with beads of sweat and her breathing wasn't slowing down at all. "Maura? Sweetie? You have to wake up now, ok? Come on Maura you have to wake up. it's just a dream, no one is going to hurt you" Jane tried soothingly with a hand stroking the blond locks removing the hair that was now plastered to Maura's forehead and the other holding Maura's hand close to Jane's heart .

With a sharp intake, Maura's eyes shot open. Maura was having trouble slowing down her short breaths and her eyes started woundering around the room when Jane placed her hand to Maura's cheek gently turning her face to once again face Jane. "Shhhh, Maura its ok. Look at me, you`re home with me. No one else is here. No one will ever hurt you again ok? I won't let anyone take you away from me ever again, not in a million years ok? Calm down." Jane brought Maura's hand, kissed it softly and placed their intertwined hands between them with a reassuring smile. Maura looked terrified at first but nodded slowly and closed her eyes taking deep breaths to calm her racing heart.

When Maura finally trusted her voice, she licked her dried lips hoping to erase the sudden sensation of thrust she felt. "How long was I out?" she tried weakly.

"A few hours" Jane replied with a smile. Maura took a deep breath and closed her eyes

"How long exactly is a few hours" Jane reached to the counter behind her checking the time in her phone.

"Well, its eleven thirty. Do the math" Maura sat on the bed quickly.

"You let me sleep till **now**!" Maura rubbed her eyes and Jane tried stuffing a wave of laughter

"We don't exactly have anything to do, so why not" Maura seemed to just realized this and stopped rubbing her eyes

"Oh" she sounded disappointment. Jane sat up as well and placed a hand on Maura's shoulder

"Hey, why don't you go take a shower while I fix breakfast" it was Maura's turn to giggle and face the burnet with a playful look

"Breakfast? At eleven thirty?"

"I won't alert the media, promise" Jane smiled at her and Maura couldn't say no to that face so she nodded giggling

"Some food would be nice" Maura slipped off the bed and headed to the bathroom. Jane waited till Maura was out of sight to get up and head to the kitchen.

Almost tripping over bass, Jane remembered her dog who she left with her younger brother and called him to bring her over. Opening the fringe a flash how empty it was just a week ago and how it was now once again filled with Maura's organic crap brought a smile to Jane's face. She settled for pancakes and started mixing the ingredient, she absolutely hated cooking and hated bunny pancakes even more but doing it for Maura made her happy. After straggling, cursing and a lot of lost eggs in the process, the 'breakfast' was done.

Jane was going to get Maura when she heard Maura talking on the phone "yes today would be fine. I`ll text you the address. Thanks I'll see you later" Maura smiled when Jane entered the room and Jane replied with a weak smile. "Is the food ready?" Jane nodded. "Great, so what are we waiting for?" Maura walked passed Jane and Jane fallowed her quietly.

Maura was too busy texting to notice the plate that Jane placed in front of her "is everything ok?" Jane tried softly.

"I-uh" Maura was glancing between Jane and her phone "yes-it`s my doctor. she`s dropping by today for a routine check up, I'm texting her the address" Jane couldn't help but stare at Maura's nails once again, she didn't know what Maura had endured in there and she wasn't sure if she ever wanted to know . Placing her phone aside Maura couldn't hide her surprise "oh, wow that's…uh... creative!" the pancakes in front of her didn't have a certain shape; it was scrambled all over the plate.

"I was going for ma`s bunny pancakes" Jane answered with embarrassment. Maura picked up her fork and knife and sliced herself a small piece to try. Jane was watching closely as her friend brought the fork up to her mouth "I'm not that much of a cook, so don't get your hope up".

"Well, it taste good but I have to say I would give you zero on the presentation" Maura replied with a teasing smile. A shy smile appeared at Jane's face while she fidgeted with the kitchen towel. Maura jumped at the sound of the door bell and looked up to Jane with confused eyes.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that I called Tommy and told him to bring Jo Friday" Jane throw the towel aside and moved to answer the door. Tommy was carrying Jo in on hand and petting her with the other.

"hi Janie how`s it going" Tommy didn't bother to wait for an answer, he handed Jane the dog and move passed her to the living room when his eyes fell on Maura. "Maura!" he yelled as he walked quickly to hug Maura, he knew that Maura was back but Jane never allowed him to come and say hi. Maura jumped from her chair facing him, her eyes were filled with fear.

"Jaaane" Jane saw the look on Maura's face and noticed the fork that was now hidden underneath Maura's sleeve, it was a warning. Maura was warning her of what might happen, Jane ran and grabed Tommy's upper arm stopping him as Maura took a step back.

"Tommy now is not a good time. Maura`s a bit tired and cant really handle a Rizzoli hug right now" Jane tried softly, still not taking her eye`s from Maura's.

"Come on Jane, it's just a hug" he shrugged Jane's hand

"Tommy, I think you should go." Maura`s voice was just above a whisper but both Rizzoli heard it. Tommy let out a snort thinking that they were joking, but looking between his sister and Maura his smile quickly disappeared

"Oh, you- ok, I'll see at Sunday dinner. It's good to have you back Maura" he tripped over his words and left as quickly as he came.

Jane lowered Jo Friday to the floor. she walked slowly to Maura putting her right arm around the smaller woman while the left slowly made her way down Maura's arm until it reached maura`s tight grip over the fork " it's ok" Jane whispered to Maura's ear . Maura's grip on the fork loosened and she let out a breath, she didn't even realize that she stopped breathing.

"I … Doyle's men were always there… I never… they never." Sighing, Maura pulled away from Jane "I just panicked" Maura shrugged not meeting Jane's eyes.

"What? You mean Doyle's men never launched at you with full speed trying to hug you? You don't say" Jane tried to look as serious as she could with a shocked expiration and earned herself a soft giggle from Maura. "Wanna try and eat that now?" Jane used the fork to gesture to the plate "I worked hard on it, you know" Jane tried with a light tone. Maura nodded with a smile and sat on the chair again while Jane kneeled down to pet her dog.


	16. Chapter 16

Jane refused to let Maura wash the dishes so she sat on the couch with nothing to do. Maura was looking at her nails when her hands started trampling and her mind started to wonder to places she didn't want. Jane tuned to ask Maura if wanted to watch something but closed her moth when she saw the detent look on Maura's face and decided to complete her task before joining Maura at the couch . Maura was sitting with one leg tucked under her and the other dangling from the couch with her back to the couch arm; she curled her fingers into fists trying to stop the trampling. Jo`s bark brought Maura back to reality with a start "hey girl" Maura said with a weak smile and carefully whipping the tears that formed in her eyes, the little dog was staring at her while wiggling her tall. "Come here" Maura tapped on the couch, Jo jumped next to Maura and started making small circles before settling on Maura's lap.

Maura started petting on the dog`s head slowly "you have no idea how lucky you are" she whispered before planting a kiss on Jo`s head. Jane came offered a small smile before sitting on the opposite side of Maura's coach.

"So, wanna watch something?" Jane said with a casual tone before lifting the remote off the table.

"Yeah sure" nodded and Jane started flipping through channels before pausing on an action movie. Maura growled

"oh for heaven`s sake, don't you think we had enough action for a while?" Maura whined.

"Sorry" Jane mumbled before flipping again to a comedy and turned waiting for an approval look from Maura. Maura was giving Jane a 'really?' look. Jane started flipping again and landed on a romantic movie however when she turned to look at Maura she found her wrinkling her nose. "Ok, know what? I give up, that's it" Jane throw the remote to the table before leaning back with crossed arms like an angry teenager.

To Jane's surprise, Maura practically jumped off the couch to take the remote with a victories grin and flipped to a nature channel, Jane's mouth opened with shock. "That was on purpose!" Jane hissed with a disbelieving

"I ... am a genius" Maura said with a proud tone before mimicking an evil laugh.

"You know I would have given it to you if you asked" Jane said quietly

"I know, but teasing you is much more fun" Maura turned to smile at Jane before starring at the screen.

After half an hour of watching how the chimpanzees are different from gorillas, Jane whipped her face with her hand.

"that`s it" Jane turned to Maura with a series look before extending her hand.

"What?" Maura asked confused as saw Jane's expiation.

" give me the remote Maura" Jane started wiggling her fingers, Maura brought the remote close to her heart as if protecting it for Jane .

"No!" Maura sounded like an eight years refusing to give away her candy. Jane moved closer in the couch making Jo jump off, she tried reaching the remote but Maura her hand moving the remote as far as possible while the other was stopping Jane from coming any closer to it. "No means no Jane. Stop being a baby"

"Ok you be the adult and give it to me" Jane stopped ad sat back again, Maura acted as she was thinking

"No" Jane leaned again over Maura again trying to get it

" give it back Maura" Jane said between greeted teeth as Maura laughed at the detective trying as hard as she can to push past Maura's hand. With a quick jump, Jo grabbed the remote before running off

"Jo!" they both shouted starring at the small dog that ran out of the room with the remote in her mouth, bursting into laughter when Jo was out of sight with Jane practically on Maura.

When the laughter subsided, Jane retuned to her spot still giggling. "I missed this" Maura said with a smile to Jane and Jane replied with a matching one.

The door bell rang Jane rolled her eyes "I swear if that's Tommy I'm gonna…"

"No. it's my doctor" Jane tuned to Maura as if trying to remember "sh-she was coming by for an examination?" for some reason Maura was nervous about seeing her doctor, Jane simply nodded and Maura walked quickly to open the door.

Maura welcomed the doctor with a polite smile but the doctor looked a bit shocked. Jane always imagined that Maura's doctor to be an old geezer and was surprised to see a young redheaded doctor coming in. Maura introduced Jane to the doctor before they both headed to the spare bed room.

being left in the living room with no idea of what she`s supposed to be doing, Jane decided to make them some tea and the doctor with just have to drink it like it or not. For some

In the bed room, Maura was sitting on the bed with her black laced brow and her shirt folded neatly next to her. "how`s the shoulder?" she asked as she started placing Pressure on some area checking for any pain.

"Its…mobile" Maura chose her words wisely and the doctor noticed it so she asked again

"Any pain?"

"Comes and goes but nothing serious" the doctor nodded and started writing something in her note.

"You seem different. Relived, happy" the doctor said looking at Maura's expiration before writing again

"What makes you say that?" Maura mumbled and the doctor put her note aside

"Well, first of all it's the first time I ever see you smile" gestured with her pen to Maura's hands "nails"

Maura raised both her hands for the doctor to see , the doctor came closer to take a better look before nodding and Maura dropped her hands to her lap " they`re growing nicely" . A soft knock on the door made them both turn but no one came in, doctor and Maura shared a look and Maura nodded before the doctor talked "come in please"

Jane opened the door slowly with a small tray and two cups of tea, Jane was paying close attention to the over flooded cups that she wasn't prepared to see Maura's scared back. She gasped and it didn't go UN heard, not by Maura and not by her doctor but Maura didn't turn and simply sighed. Jane placed the tray on the night stand before wiping her hands with her pants, debating wither to stay for support or give Maura some private. "It's ok, you can stay Jane" Maura said quietly

"Are you sure? I can just watch some TV ..." Jane started blurring out nervously as she rubbed her hands

"Yes I'm, you can stay. Just… no talking, ok?" the doctor was looking from Jane to Maura, surprised at their interaction. She never saw doctor isles as a friendly type, or a polite type for that matter.

"Ok" Jane sat down on a chair at the end of the bed, facing Maura's side. The doctor continued her examination as she took out a small flash light moving it in Maura's eyes

"Any dizziness or lightheadedness?" Maura replied with a simple 'no' and the doctor returned her the flashlight " can you lower our pants?" Jane fought the sensation of the blood as it rose to her cheeks

"Nope" Maura shook her head slightly, and the doctor let out a sight of defeat.

"Come on Maura, she just wants to see…" Jane tried but was cut off by Maura

"What happened to no talking?" Maura tone was filled with disappointment as she shook her head with disbelieve. Jane closed her mouth and stayed quit. The doctor took the Opportunity of Maura staring at Jane to poke her in her thigh making Maura yelp in pain. "Shit" Maura mumbled and Jane's mouth flew open. "What?" Maura asked innocently.

"Ummm, does my ear need cleaning or did you just say 'shit'?"

"Shit shit shit, what?" Maura asked agitated and Jane raised her hands in retreat. Maura sighed, she was torn between who she was and who she had become and having Jane and her doctor in the same room did not help.

"Have you been placing pressure on that leg?" Maura didn't respond and Jane took the opportunity to talk

"She has been walking without her cane a lot" Maura shot Jane a look "what? She`s a doctor" Jane justified

"So am I" Maura said with an annoyed tone

"For dead people Maura" Maura made a face and turned to face her doctor, a small smile reached Jane's lips

"At least tell me you`re taking the meds I described" the doctors voice was pleading. Maybe it was true was they said, Doctors do make the worst Patients. Maura did not reply and pressed her lips to a thin line. "Dr. Isles. I know that you have some concerns regarding the withdraw and the side effect of these meds and you have that statistic about the Patient that become addicted to their meds, not to mention you Experience with…" Maura was listening quietly through the whole thing until the doctor reached the last sentence

"I just don't want to be drugged again ok?" Maura explained.

The doctor nodded before completed her examination and Maura showed her to the door. Jane`s eyes softened and gave her friend a look of sympathy, Maura caught a glance at the way Jane was looking at her "Jane do you see a lost puppy?" Maura asked curious

"What? No-I" Jane tripped over her words as she spoke and was interrupted by Maura

"Then stop looking at me like I am" Maura's voice was a mixture of anger and fury

"Sorry" Jane mumbled as she studied the ground not daring to look at Maura

"Stop apologizing all the time!" Maura sighed and walked to her room closing the door behind her.


	17. Chapter 17

"Can I come in?" Jane had her head pocked in Maura's room. Maura going through some dresses and barley turned to nod before retuning her attention back to the two dresses in her hands.

" it's been a long time since I wore these, I was wondering which one to were for Sunday dinner" Maura didn't take her eyes off the dresses as she talked and Jane walked slowly and sat at the head of the bed .

"The red one is nice" Jane tried with casual tone.

"Yeah, I was going to go with it anyway" Maura sat the other dress down and started to study the dress in her hand

"Maura, are you mad at me?" Jane's tone was filled with guilt, sadness. Maura froze for a second before shaking her head softly

"No I'm not mad at you." Her voice was just a above a whisper " I'm just a little upset that's all" Maura turned to face Jane after she returned the dress to its place " ever since I got here you keep acting like am going to brake at any second, that I'm too fragile to do anything . It wouldn't kill me to do the dishes Jane" Jane looked a bit confused

"You wanted to do the dishes?"

"That's not the point Jane!" Maura sighed and screeched her forehead looking for a way to say this without hurting Jane "I want things to go back to normal, I want my life back, I want you back. I know… I know I'm not a hundred present but I don't need a nurse and I don't want a shrink I just want my best friend" Jane was looking at her hands in her lap and didn't see the way Maura's eyes filled with unshed tears " I want to put these things behind us. Today when we were fighting over the remote I felt happy, I felt so happy. It was the first time I felt normal again in a long time and I... I thought that…" Maura took a breath trying to clam herself "I thought that we finally started to act normal again and that it was over but then you kept looking at me like that. I can't… I can't stand it when you looking at me like that. I want to forget, I want to move on but you`re not making it any easier for me. You apologies to me all the time Jane"

"Mm sorry" Jane mumbled still not meeting Maura's gaze, Maura let out a snort between her tears

"Yeah. You keep saying that" Maura started wiping her tears with the back of her hand. Jane`s face was filled with sorrow"Jane what happened wasn't your fault its paddy's fault and my decision, you had nothing to do with it"

"I let you down" Jane mumbled. "You're my best friend and I couldn't do anything to help, I almost got you killed because I was too selfish to understand that it was dangerous to bring you here" Jane's breathe hutched

"I want things to go back to normal Maura, but I think you blame me too and your right I..."

"Jane I don't blame you…." Maura started with a reassuring tone but was cut off by Jane

"Oh really? Maura you wouldn't even tell me what happened in there and every time I would ask you, you would give me a short answer as if it wasn't important or …" Jane was on the verge of tears now

"I don't talk about it because of you!" Jane raised her head sharply to Maura. "Gad" Maura brought her hand to cover her eyes hoping that it would stop the sting she felt. " I haven't told you most of it and you already act the way you do, " Maura took a seat next to Jane on the bed " I remember you there, I remember the day paddy found me but there is still a gab in my mind "

Maura took a breath trying hard not to cry again while Jane remained silent waiting for her to talk "when the doctor did a blood test it came back positive, there was a cocktailed of drugs running through my blood stream." Maura looked at her hands that were trampling in her lap "the drugs were in my system for so long that their withdraw was, still is the worst part of it all. That's why I don't take the medicine that my doctor describe .You don't know how many days I've spent crying, screaming in pain. I cried till there were no tears anymore. All my years of study would tell me that that was impassible but when I was there I finally knew it was true .When I close my eyes I see flashes of them, when I sleep it gets worst because I can`t make it stop." Maura sighed and looked at Jane next to her

"I don't want to talk about this anymore, I `m tired of crying all the time and I'm tired of feeling like this. Jane pleases, I f you love me …. Don't look at me like that and- and I promise that I will stop acting like a jerk. Deal?" Maura offered a hand to Jane.

"Deal" Jane attempted a weak smile as she shook Maura's hand and Maura replied with a matching one. They both sat on the bed quietly in silent for a few minutes before Jane broke the silent "you know we`ll have to go treasure hunting for that remote right?" Maura started chuckling

"Nooo" Maura whined as she lower her head to her hands

"Yeees" Jane mimicked before getting up and reaching out for Maura's hands "come on before the remote end up in a hole in one of your plants… thingy" Maura raise her head sharply with a realization

"My orchid!"

" oh yes, we wouldn't want for your orchid that a serial killer gave you before he tried to kill you to get crushed by Jo" Jane tried her best series face and Maura made a face before walking out of the room fallowed by a giggling Jane .

"Did you know that the name orchid the name comes from the Ancient Greek _órkhis_ literally meaning testicle?" Jane tried to contain laughter as they both looked through the house

"He gave you a flower named testicle?" Jane raise her eyebrows, Maura nodded "well, I suppose I can understand why **he **would give it, don't you?" Jane teased and Maura looked up with confused eyes, Jane started wiggling her brows and Maura burst into laughter before nodding in agreement


End file.
